Good bye to you forever. Closing this chapter of my life. Moving on.
(Source: toohelpsavealife)
So we’re here in the same room, breathing the same air. The thought disgusts me a little, but I find solace in the fact that I have actually garnered the will power to not care and not even tell anyone about it.
As you type away in your computer, I wonder you can feel my hate for you. I wonder if you feel the heat of my anger; if you feel it like flecks of burning coal hitting your neck, slowly melting the ice of indifference that I chose to show you instead. You’ve caused a lot of blood loss in my part, and I feel like I wouldn’t want to compensate for the losses anymore.
The words of our teacher summed up what I feel inside: “In refractory shock, even if you replace the lost blood volume, you cannot get the heart back where to it was.”
(Source: quote-book)
I’m currently fighting the strong desire to text you everything I want to say right now. I really want to pick up my phone and just type away those words that I want to say to your face. It’s been exactly a month since you did what you did and I can’t help all those things coming back to me like it happened only yesterday. It’s been a month and the wounds are still fresh. I’m starting to think that these injuries will be fresh until you come around and help patch things up.
I have heard a lot of things about you and your escapades, and I’m now starting to see what you mean to her. It was just proven how all the things you said to me are just plain lies.
I’m starting to operate on the thought that I’ll do anything just to hear you speak to me and explain yourself. Even if you tell me that you just used me to get something out of me, I wouldn’t care. I’m stupid, yes, but that’s still the closure that I want. That’s what it’ll take for me to leave you behind for real. I’m trying to find my way in the dark place that you have left me in and it’s only you that can lead me the way out. I was hoping that you will have the decency to at least take me by the hand the last time and just lead me until the faintest crack of light can be seen by my sorry eyes.
You just repeated everything that I have tried so hard to recover from for nearly a decade in 5 hours. How could you? How could I let myself fall? How could you take advantage of my weakness? I thought you were a friend and you will never do this to me. You broke my trust and my heart into a million pieces. This is, by far, is the most painful thing I’ve gone through.
